the big question

 

xx

你們大概知我甚愛道德經, 視死亡如回歸大塊(自然), 心情平靜, 說不上有什麼忐忑,

倒是Men數天茶飯不思加失眠流淚, 反 要我安慰, 情緒現已較穩定.

我的”怕” 寫於廿多年前. 對神鬼, 生死之事, 早有心理準備.

外家親戚對我的平靜,也很感詫異.

 

我把病情告知各親戚朋友, 是希望提醒各人要作每年例行体檢. 我有五年未作檢查, 醫生說癌瘤已生長了數年, 現在如雞蛋般大小.

怕–fear

January 7, 2009 by standingforest

我不怕神, 不怕鬼,             I fear not god, I fear not devil,

只怕自我的無知.               I faer only my own ignorance.

但因我是如許無知,           And since I am so ignorant,

所以我常在怕中.               I am always in fear.

——————-         —————————

明白我無知, 所以我知.    Knowing that I am ignorant,

明白我怕, 所以我不怕     therefore I am not ignorant.

林 立  一九八八               Knowing that I am in fear,

therefore I have no fear.

lap lam 1988

——————————————————–

無知常引起恐懼,

我們恐懼死亡, 因我們對死亡所知甚少,

或者, 死亡是無須恐懼, 甚或很美好呢!

我覺得

上帝會怕我的質疑, 佛祖會怕我的挑剔, 魔鬼更怕我當祂無到, 所以衪們都不歡迎我, 我只好繼續留在人間.

但萬一….

則把我所有可捐贈的器官都捐贈出去, 遺体火化後骨灰散於落磯山下山水間,

如要立墓碑, 則在碑上寫” 我什麼都不怕, 只怕自我的無知”

Ignorance causes fear.

We are all afraid of something we don’t know, such as death

May be death has nothing to be fear about, may be it’s very beautiful.

Also,

Since I have too many questions for God & Buddha, and hold the devil in contemn, I don’t think I’ll be welcome by any of them, so I probably have to stay on earth quite a while longer.

But, in case….

I’ll like to donate all my  useful organs .

Cremated the remains and spread the ashes in the foothill & streams  of the Rockies.

If there’ s a tomb stone, I would like “ I fear nothing but my own ignorance…Lap Lam” written on it.

written on April 30th 2010, two weeks before my kidney operation

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