my current condition


Dear friends

Thank you so much for your concern and good wishes, here’s a brief report on my current condition.

I have just finished my first round of 28 days of Sutent  chemotherapy, as expected , there are some nasty side effects,

I have hands & feet skin peeling, minor cases of nose and scalp bleeding,  tongue sores, itchy scrotums  with skin peel, bloody stool, skin turned yellow, very poor digestion, lost of appetize, sour stomach & severe bloating, and lost about 20 pounds.

At the two worst days, I was so tired I could not even open my eyes, tears streamed down my face uncontrollably. I think it’s a physical reaction to what’s going on inside  rather than mental depression because I was in relative good spirit all the time.

I will now have two weeks rest from the pills and go back for more test and decide the next course of action, hopefully, it will be easier from now on.

My attitude towards this whole issue is “neither attached nor detached”, I will not fight it passionaly nor give up passively, let come what may, it’s all part of nature, “Every day is a good day”.

Actually, with the best TLC from Men, I am well rested and got to enjoy some of my favorite music, such as Kitaro’s “Light of the spirit.”.

The havenly sound of the little Bud-Je’s(Buddha-Jesus)laughter —http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5P6UU6m3cqk&feature=related—hahaha, also recharge my energy every day.

Again, thanks for all your care and good wills.

Sincerely

Lap Lam

08082010

我的近況

各位

多謝各人的關怀, 我的近況又有新的”有趣”發展.

手掌, 腳掌脫皮, 影響步行.

鼻孔, 頭皮表層出血, 結疤.

睪丸痕癢脫皮, 大便出血.

食欲不振, 味皆帶苦, 難以下嚥.

ニ個多月來, 體重下降廿多磅, 膚色完全變黃.

最差的兩天我疲倦得眼也睜不開, 終日淚流不止, 不受控制,

我認為這是生理條件反射, 與精神無關. 因我的精神還甚龍猛.

加上老妻對我服侍無微不致, 我可全心欣賞一些喜愛的樂曲如喜多郎的

“靈之光”Light of the spirit, 給我帶來平靜喜悅.

上帝與魔鬼能折磨我的肉體, 但打敗不了我的精神.

對生與死, 我抱不即不離的心態, 不固執強求, 亦不消極放棄.

因而能日日是好日地 得大自在.

半立

八月八日2010年

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