wrestling with the beast

September 13, 2014

Western art, religion and literature all have a lot to do with the struggling of the good and bad, right and wrong.

The Chinese has transcended this dualistic struggle long ago;

Know the white , keep the black. Embrace the yang, carry the ying…Tao De Ching.

Holding to one view is an extremist, holding to both views is a saint…Confucian.

One is all, all is one…Buddha.

That’s why In the last two thousand years, Jews, Buddhist, Christians, Taoist, Muslims all have settled and coexisted peacefully in China.



Loahan playing with the tiger. 羅漢玩虎

September 13, 2014

loahan—a highly spiritual person, monk.

Tiger—the wild,animal nature in all of us.

Usually loahan was depicted sitting on top or taking a nap with the tiger, showing he had tamed his animal nature.

This Loahan not only tamed it, but has become it’s friend and playing together in harmony , he has become one with nature, no more dualistic good and bad struggles.

I see my cancer as the tiger and would have love to play with him, but unfortunately I am not that enlightened and end up often bitten by the tiger.


虎, 代表人之獸性, 一般的羅漢像是坐在虎旁, 或與老虎一起睡大覺,說明自已的獸性已被馴服.

但這个羅漢玩虎不但已收服獸性,更與它成了好朋友,和諧相處,人與自然合而為一, 不分彼此,一即一切.

而西方宗教, 文学, 芸ボ,則常以善與惡,生與死,上帝與摩鬼對立的两元論, 作永無休止的鬥爭,永遠不能與大自然和諧合一.
知其白, 守其黑. 負其陰,抱其陽…老子
執其一端為異端, 執其兩端為聖人…程灝
一即一切, 一切即一…彿.
我視我的癌瘤如老虎, 很想與它和諧相處, 可惜因道行不足, 常被它咬傷.


my recent condition.

August 31, 2014

Dear friends
Thank you very much for your concern about my health.

3 weeks ago CTScan showed that my tumors are growing and spreading, although the size are quite small, it’s a yellow alert, so the doctor decided to change my chemo pill to Everolimus, side effects include fatigue and weakness, nose bleed, mouth & tongue sores, loss of taste and appetite, diarrhea, nausea, cough,muscle pain and skin rash etc.

There is also fluid in my left lung affecting my breathing, even speaking takes a big effort, I have 3 litters of fluid drained in 3 weeks.
I also have a lingering cough from a bad cold 3 months ago, each time I cough is like a heavy duty exercise for the lung, it made me completely out of breath as someone is sitting on my chest and I am ready to pass out, it caused me to vomit a few times which made it even harder to breath and I was completely exhausted.

Everolimus should also help cure the lung fluid, but with it’s side effects and my lung fluid, my doctor decided to stop the Everolimus for a week to let my body have a rest to gain back some strength.
It looks like I might have to install a valve on my chest to drain the fluid daily.
Hopefully Everolimus will take care of both problems soon.

Buddhist believe adversity are the stepping stones to enlightenment,
Since I got cancer 4 years ago, I told myself I am going to enjoy my suffering, being completely out of breath and fatigue are unique experience not everyone can have.
So I will happily fight on.
Again thank you and best to you all.
1 sept. 2014


August 4, 2014

Tom 先生
我認為沒有宗教信仰, 恰是中国人的可貴高尚處, 儒家追求..養浩然正氣, 光輝昭日月. 為了義,寧可剎身成仁, 不可以身害仁. 這比帶有私利(信者上天堂不信下地獄)的宗教信仰有更高迢的精神層次.
人類由迷信宗教, 到掉棄宗教迷信, 進而追求人道, 仁, 義, 天下大同是人類文明進化的過程. 這方面中囯人為先行者, 是儒家的實是求是智慧.
可是腐化了的儒教亦衍生了你所陳列的种种敗象, 所以我常呼吁儒学必須革新, 去蕪存菁.


July 31, 2014

你說: 英国和美国200多年前就实行了民主制度,两三百年后的中国人比两三百年前的英、美两国人民的素质还低,这不是对中国人的侮辱是什么?
我無意侮辱国人, 但不幸地, 我認為中国人民的民主素质確是比两三百年前的英、美两国人民的素质还低, 原因如下;
两三百年前的美国移民多數是歐洲的政治與宗教難民, 他們冒死逃到美囯新大陸, 就是要了尋求政治與宗教的民主與自由.
但中国人經過三, 四千年無間斷的專制封建統治,加上中共六,七十年的獨裁荼毒, 專制思維毒素已深入民族血液,成了文化基因.
我参與民運多年, 所見 民運者令人灰心的反民主作為, 不勝枚舉.
所以海外民運搞了廿多年, 至今一盤散沙. 這是我們必須面對的殘酷事實.

a few questions

July 25, 2014

1..Jesus, the only son of god
In the New Testament, Jesus was worshiped as the only son of god sent to earth to wash away our sin, but in the Old Testament one cannot find one verse or phrase saying god is going to send his only son to earth as our savior.
Therefore the Jews were right and had good reason to reject Jesus and refused to accept him as the savior.

No matter in the old or New Testament, there is not one verse or phrase describing the formation of Trinity, Trinity was made up by the later preaches to explain the position of Jesus as a holy member, but there has never been a final definition of Trinity as different denominations argue about it over 1500 years, and groups like The Jehovah’s Witness, Mormons and Christian scientologist have outright refuse to recognize the doctrine of Trinity.

3..Origin of the Bible
As a nation, Jews are a late comer in the middle East, before them were the Mesopotamia, Sumerian, Babylonian, Persian and Egyptian civilizations. Ideas of the creation, the great flood, parting of the Red Sea, virgin birth and resurrection etc. were all borrowed from the different cultures. The ancient scrolls,murals and carvings can testify to this.

4..contradicting teachings
On the cross, Jesus forgave all who put him to death by saying” forgive them lord, because they don’t know what they are doing”, his unconditional love and forgiving spirit has won him numerous followers.
But the Old Testament clearly stated that only those who made sincere repentance will be forgiven by god, so there is pre-condition for forgiveness, contrary to Jesus unconditional forgiveness.
The Lord’s prayer says ..thy kingdom come, thy will be done , on earth as in haven. We are supposed to practice the spiritual life with our daily living.
But Jesus taught us ..God to God, Cesar to Cesar, to separate spiritual life from our daily life. Another contradiction.

5..good conscience
If an African tribe worshiped someone who killed tens of thousands of children as their leader, we will for sure condemn them as barbaric, cruel and uncivilized.
God did exactly the same in Exodus chapter 12, 29-30, yet Christians worship him as a just, kind and loving god, isn’t that ironic, I find that hard to accept in good conscience.


July 17, 2014


1. 上帝的獨生子耶穌.
在新約中耶穌被認許為上帝的獨生子下凡救世, 但在舊約中卻找不到上帝會派獨生子下凡救世的任何章句, 所以猶太人並不承認耶穌為上帝的獨生子之說, 他們抗拒耶穌是有理有據的,這又是新舊約的另一矛盾.

2. 三位一體
無論在新約或舊約都找不到任何章句說明三位一體的存在, 三位一體說是後來傳教士為了方便觧釋耶穌的身份而編造出來的, 但很多教派如耶和華見証會, 摩門教, 基督科學教等都反對三位一體之存在.

3. 舊約的來源
猶太民族在中東只是個後來者, 米索畢達美亞, 索瑪利亞, 巴比倫, 埃及, 波斯等文明都早於猶太人存在, 正如韓国與越南, 他們大部份文化都是從中国承傳回來的, 猶太人的舊約亦是從上述數個文明中承傳抄襲回來的. 舉其大者,如創世紀, 大洪水,紅海分水, 童貞受孕及死後升天等都是東抄西襲合併而成, 這在中東很多文字,古蹟壁畫石雕中可得明証, 猶太人卻把它視作自已首創, 難怪受中東各民族譏笑, 正如中国人對韓国及越南人要把一些文化註冊為其所獨有覺得一樣可笑.

4. 面對良知
如果非洲某部落尊奉一個屠剎了數十万嬰兒的個体為神明, 必被我們指為未開化, 野蠻, 嗜血剎人魔王等.
但上帝在出埃及記(12: 29-30)如是作為你們卻奉為公義, 愛與和平. 是否太偏心不公正呢? 你們能面對自己的良知, 問心無愧嗎? 或是因久懾服於神權淫威, 早已失去理性思考的能力?

Chinese wisdom

July 17, 2014

Another ancient Chinese wisdom
Frequency of sex for different age.
Age 20…2×9=18 10 days 8 times
Age 30…3×9=27 20 days 7 times
Age 40…4×9=36 30 days 6 times
Age 50…5×9=45 40 days 5 times
Age 60…6×9=54 50 days 4 times
Age 70…7×9=63 60 days 3 times
Age 80…8×9=72 70 days 2 times
Age 90…9×9=81 80 days 1 times

20歲…2×9=18 10日8次
30歲…3×9=27 20日7次
40歲…4×9=36 30日6次
50歲…5×9=45 40日5次
60歲…6×9=54 50日4次
70歲…7×9=63 60日3次
80歲…8×9=72 70日2次
90歲…9×9=81 80日1次


June 27, 2014


我認為氣韻生動是繪畫之最高境界, 傳模移寫是初階入门功夫, 所以從學習繪畫的角度看, 應是:一曰傳模移寫, 二曰經營位置, 三曰隨類賦彩, 四曰應物象形, 五曰骨法用筆, 六曰氣韻生動.
半立, 一九七三年.


June 2, 2014

六四廿五週年前, 前北京学運領袖柴玲發表了她的寬恕論, 要以基督精神寬恕六四屠城的劊子手李鵬及鄧小平等人, 引起很大的回應, 帶來一片指責之声. 我覺得這有点不公平, 因 作為一个虔誠的基督徒, 柴玲的觀点是有理可循的.
耶穌在十字架上臨死前, 對迫害他的人說: 主阿,愿諒他們, 因他們並不知道他們在做什麼. 他這種寬大,不記仇的寬恕與博愛精神, 感動了後世億万人, 成了基督徒.
柴玲是要以同一的精神, 寬恕屠城的罪人.
問題是舊約又多次指出, 只有已悔改認罪的人才能被赦罪得到上帝的寬恕. 從上帝的角度看, 李鵬及鄧小平等人都從未認錯, 又怎可得到寬恕赦罪呢?
新舊約教義前後茅盾, 害得柴玲成了夾心人.


但聖經最主要的經文, 信徒們早上醒來, 吃三餐前, 晚上上床前, 日常任何集会, 礼拜聚会前必唸的主禱文說… 願祢的國降臨, 願祢的旨意行在地上, 如同行在天上…. 作為一個真正的基督徒, 每時每刻, 一言一行都應以身作則, 身体力行把上帝的國度, 旨意,實踐於地上世俗現實生活中, 實現救世的理想. 不然你就不是个真正的信徙.
所以把世俗與属灵的融合為一, 是所有上帝信徒的責任與承担.
當然耶穌又說: 上帝的歸上帝, 凱撤(帝王) 的歸凱撤. 要人把世俗與属灵的分開處理..
教義的前後茅盾, 害得柴玲再次兩面不是人.

我查遍了論語, 只有兩句是有關寬恕的;
可見恕在孔子心目中有極重要的地位, 成了他終身踐行之指標.
但可惜此兩短句不免使人覺得有点粗疏之感, 恕是無條件的嗎? 還是應有附帶條件的? 不然他說; 以德報怨, 何以報德? 又怎觧釋呢?
難怪黑格爾指論語只是一些智慧格言, 算不上是嚴謹的学術思想. 又說中囯文化處於少年期, 有待發展. 但中国人卻說半部論語治天下, 怪哉.
孔子的<以德報怨, 何以報德>其實甚合情理.民間的<君子報仇,十年未晚.有仇不報非君子> 的意念不知是怎樣形成的? 為何對寬恕卻無相似的成語? 一个只着重報仇, 不着重寬恕的社会,是否一個健康的社会?

道德經主要在論述自然界道的體與用, 對人世間的恩怨情仇, 隻字不提.

佛学的慈悲觀比寬恕又更上層樓, 因有寬恕即有對錯, 我對你錯所以我要寬恕你, 這便落入兩元對立的人我執, 佛者所不為也. <苦海慈航,同体大悲>才是他們的使命.
但現實中這種超和平的理念使印度佛教在一千年前遭到回教皇朝的滅絕式屠剎, 佛教幾乎從此消失於印度.
現實與理想, 实不易平衡.